Welcome to my website: all my stories hanging out in one small space like a kitchen full of misfits at a party

“As the flabby bass note sustains the room shrinks and shrivels and it’s not my family’s revulsion I feel but my own despair curdling in the warm juice of your gob-hole.”

From ‘Unpardonable‘ in Briefly Zine (March, 2023)
Photo by Ben Maxwell on Pexels.com

“Lois is waiting by the hot beverage selection, her mind still clouded with sleep. A vague sense of asymmetry has been on-off bugging her all morning. Around her, uneasy chitchat and slurps of coffee submit to the clatter of teaspoons.”

From ‘The Day Before Lois Clears Her Desk’ in Reflex Fiction (Jan, 2023)
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

“Gunning for straight strikes is zero fun on your own, so my new jam is engineering these awkward splits. Tonight, I’m going for ‘sour apples’. The aim is to leave pins five, seven and ten standing, like points of a triangle.”

From ‘One Last Sour Apple Split in the Lancashire Holiday Park’ in Idle Ink (Jan, 2023)
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

“I tell her that she – she being The Face Invader – just moves into the space I’ve vacated and the facilitator listens with her whole body, while fiddling with her ‘Proxemics Expert’ lanyard.”

From ‘Making Effective Use of Nonverbal Communication: an Introduction’ in Virtual Zine (Dec, 2022)
Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com

“She laughs, telling me she circled the bar, ignoring the flat-haired woman propped against the magnolia pillar. She says, ‘What the hell happened to your curls?’”

From ‘Searching for the Girl with the Wavy Hair’ at Friday Flash Fiction (Nov, 2022)
Photo by Gaspar Zaldo on Pexels.com

“Every forty days they sat about in listless groups, marinating in red wine and despair. ‘D40’ became something of a bank holiday. After all, people couldn’t be expected to work in the face of such anxiety.”

From ‘On Day Forty We Checked Out’ in Ellipsis Zine (Oct, 2022)
Photo by Chris F on Pexels.com

“There’s no reference to grounded pedalos, bleached to bone, splitting apart. No discussion of dead ducks – guts spilt, fat flies rising like a cartoon cloud.”

From ‘The Boating Lake’ at Retreat West (Sept, 2022)
Photo by Khoa Huu1ef3nh on Pexels.com

“After dark, she graffitied a lifetime of exploits all over town, being sure to include her full name. This fantasy self was a shameless floozy, a filthy show-off.”

From ‘Stop it Anne You’re Making a Show of Yourself’ at Friday Flash Fiction (Sept, 2022)
Photo by Jill Burrow on Pexels.com

‘She probably expected more but Ron’s mind offered only white noise. He was trying to work out what was strange about Mary’s house, apart from its discomforting tidiness. ‘So, Nikki? That’s not your everyday cat name?’’

From ‘Nothing Untoward’ in Selcouth Station (July, 2022)
Photo by EVG Kowalievska on Pexels.com

‘She keeps her charity shops on a separate rotation to her epic bar crawl. It’s a big city; she never runs out of options. She is Harriet or Tamsin, sometimes Zara. Never Anna, despite its classlessness. She sprays on her name like expensive perfume.’

From ‘Sometimes Anna on her days off’ in Virtual Zine (Feb, 2022)
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

‘Reflect that you have too much stuff for your children to make sense of should you die too soon to guide them through the mushrooming chaos of the Anthropocene. Recognise that your home is just another faulty unit in the unsustainable global system of shitty shitty stuff.’

From ‘Packing up the shit’ in Idle Ink (Feb, 2022
Photo by Dexter Fernandes on Pexels.com

‘They’d both had eyes for Danny – Danny Boy, Dan the Man – but Danny had only had eyes for assorted white powders. Just chill the hell out, lads, yer? he’d slur from the sofa, as arguments flamed around him.’

From ‘Upholstered Cumulus’ at Reflex Fiction (Feb, 2022)
Photo by Charlotte May on Pexels.com

‘Have you tried the obvious things? Cold showers, a big plate of pasta after nine-thirty? Switching your evening tipple for a warm milky drink?’

From ‘Occasional horniness will cost you, dear: an imagined conversation with my doctor in 2025’ in Little Old Lady Comedy (Dec, 2021)
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

‘Gemma looked out the window and saw an Easyjet ad for £24.99 flights to Ibiza. In the other direction Burger King was promoting a £1.99 Whopper Deal. Her stomach rumbled and her mind emptied, as if shaking off the heft of its contents.’

From ‘Gem’s final tour in the world-saving vanguard’ in Punk Noir Magazine (Nov, 2021)
Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com

‘All was progressing well until the nod-based choreography kicked in: nod to the left, nod to the front, nod to the right in glorious synchrony. Yes? No. I went the wrong way and was committed to alternate nose-to-nosing with a wide-eyed Mel and a po-faced Tonya Reynard.’

From ‘Mind the Puddle, Duck’ in Funny Pearls (Oct, 2021)

Photo by Monica Silvestre on Pexels.com

Strange to go against the flow, to squeeze through bodies hell-bent on bagging seats aboard a train going nowhere. Mad to abandon scores of sweaty commuters for-fuck’s-saking in stifling carriages.’

From ‘Calling at: Pharmacy, Florist, and Off-Licence only’ in 100 Word Story (Sept, 2021)
Photo by Yoss Traore on Pexels.com

‘Terry noticed her rolling side-to-side, wafting notes of strong white cider and stale tobacco smoke towards him. She seemed to be scrutinising the skyline, perhaps trying to return it to horizontal, as if she were a human spirit level.’

From ‘A Nice Sit Down and a Bit of What You Fancy’ in Truffle (Sept, 2021)
Photo by Lucy Goldring

‘After we’d arrived at the baths and checked the lifeguard rota, we got Dextro Energy out the vending machine. Four tablets at once delivers maximum tingle without the rabid squirrel look. You don’t want to go above five, trust me.’

From ‘Adult Lane Swimming’ in Northern Gravy (Sept, 2021)
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

‘Your two main tribes were the people who treated it like a last all-you-can-eat supper versus your cagey hoarders. The only people making sense were the old school-strike-for-climate lot. When I decided their Co-op Coms were the way forward it was too late.’

From ‘Scarce as Hen’s Teeth and Pot Luck Noods’ in Idle Ink (Sept, 2021)

Photo by Zachary DeBottis on Pexels.com

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